Monday, August 4, 2008

Battle of the Pants

HEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!
i am in a battle for every pair of pants that i have!!!!!
one of my dearest friends, kelley, also lives in Brazil and was recently in the States for about 8 months. before she left for the US she told me she was very afraid of coming back with a nasty thing we missionaries like to call "furlough fat". being the newbie, i had never heard of this monster before but it didn't take me long to develop a healthy fear of this concept too. unfortunately kelley's worst fears were realized and she lost the battle while she was in the great land of Papa Johns and Krispy Kreme (sorry, Kel, but i just couldn't leave you out of this). so i was determined to start strong and finish wearing the same pants i arrived in....

LESS THAN ONE WEEK back and i have already tipped the scales by 2 pounds!!!!! now i know that does not sound so serious but do the math. approx. 42 weeks of furlough times 2 pounds a week equals 84 pounds!!! i didn't bring any fat pants, people. if i can't button myself up i will have to resort to the "old rubber band through the button hole trick" or just be happy sprouting the "muffin top" out of my waistband (you know, when you got too much dough in the muffin tin and it spills over the top). actually i have a mini-muffin top that my husband rather approves of but it only really reveals it's glory when i am wearing low-riders that are a little too tight. enough of that....

so why is it so hard to say "no"?

reason 1 - it's easy to feel deprived
what i need to tell myself - just because you have not eaten Girl Scout cookies, Wendy's Frosties, American cheese, fruit on the bottom yogurt or Bryer's mint chocolate chip ice cream in a VERY long time does not mean that you have to eat them all the same day.

reason 2 - it's too easy to satisfy my cravings
what i need to remember - just because there is a convenience store on every corner or a fast food kiosk in every store (when did it become un-american to open a store that doesn't have a food stand??) that does not mean that i have to eat every time i am out of the house. somewhere someone must have starved to death as they were going from the video store to the pharmacy and so a law was enacted that requires food and liquid refreshment every 100 ft within the city limits.

reason 3 - my in-laws, who we are staying with for 3 weeks, show love through food
what i need to do - stop blaming them for my lack of self control just because they happen to have 6 containers of Pringles, 2 cartons of ice cream, 6 different cases of soda in the house and no reservations about eating out. i don't HAVE to eat the junk that is around simply because it is there. they have a can of herring in the cupboard and i don't feel obligated to eat that. pretend the Dove chocolate bars are cans of herring.

well, so far furlough fat is winning but it is still early in the game. i need to be more conscious about what i am eating and why and try to remember that i am here long enough to enjoy everything that i have missed in a healthy time frame and in healthy portions. or i could just let myself go while we are with my in-laws because i know that my mom, the health nut, will not allow these demonic foods to enter her kitchen. so i will then be forced onto the organic, wholegrain diet that will include lots of rejuvenated water and daily sessions on her "vibrator" that "supposedly" melts the pounds away. more on the health nut mom later....for now i have to go have a small bowl of sugar-less praline ice cream - it's my compromise.


p.s. please visit kelley's blog at http://daughter-of-a-polish-man.blogspot.com/
and maybe she won't be mad at me for talking about her furlough.

4 comments:

Kelley said...

Oh my goodness I cannot believe you are announcing to the rest of the world (everybody that knows me already knows:-) that I acquired (and still haven't lost) an XL muffin thingy! Ah, if you weren't so darn likable I wouldn't forgive you. Although I am SO happy to hear that you may come back with extra weight and more sympathy for me...take heart, there are positives here...

1. You are in the land of Goodwills and Garage-sales! It doesn't matter that you didn't previously own fat clothes...you can get a ton for less than $10 (and then continue to wear them down here for months as you try to regain control of your eating habits).

2. When you come back and are disgusted with yourself for gaining 15 lbs (you better at least gain 10) then you won't longingly look back at the good ol' food that is not available here.

3. You are encouraging your dear friend who is SO tired of being the only fat mommy here. I am so sick of hanging out with skinny minnies. What I won't forgive you of is if you DO come back in your same jeans (especially if you rub it in). Did you notice that the picture I chose for my blog is one from the pre-children days when I didn't have more than one chin?

Ok, this comment is getting way too long! I enjoyed your post. Keep it up...you have lots of food items to take advantage of the next 10 months. Have you even tried a Krispy Kreme yet?

kimberly kubitza said...

and that is why i love you!!!!!

Kelley said...

I'm so glad I came back here to see who the other comment was from. aw, I do feel loved:-)

Webkinz Woman said...

Only two pounds!! Oh My!! My Weight Watcher's leader keeps telling me move more....bet you moved more in Brazil than here in the USA....don't worry about it...you'll keep it off chasing your kids... :)