another one leaves the nest

so the major happening this week was the start of school. davian started 2nd grade and nathaniel started kindergarten.

oooohhhh, mama bear was nervous to send her cubs into the woods alone! i think i was having a harder time than they were - but then i know the dangers and pitfalls that lie ahead and they don't. but it went well for both of them. davi's first day was tuesday and after i put her on the bus i couldn't help but watch the clock all day - it was the longest 8 hours i have had in a long time. but finally that bus came back and she hopped off. how was your first day of school? i asked. great!! was her reply. ahhh, sweet relief.

on wednesday nathaniel had his orientation. i think he has one of the best teachers in the world and she really helped allay some of my fears. he did better in his class than i had expected. the orientation was very long and he sat so still and quiet. when i praised him for being such a good boy he said well, mom, you need to be quiet to catch fish. ha! all those saturday afternoons on the riverbank with daddy fishing have paid off!

later that day i decided to teach him to write his name. now i know there may be someone reading this who thinks that a 5yo should already know his letters and how to write them. sorry. i guess i dropped the ball. i am nominating myself for "worstest mom" (more on that another time). well, when we named nathaniel we never considered how many letters it has and how difficult it would be for a little one to write.....n-a-t-h-a-n-i-e-l. we practiced and practiced and he did so much better than i would have thought. but our thoughts quickly turned to the little boy who sat next to him at orientation. i made the mistake of saying nathaniel, your friend Om only has 2 letters in his name. to which he replied oh man, mom, why didnt you name me Om??!! yes, why didn't i name him Om?

i managed to get him on the bus with no tears - those had come the day before. so dan, stephen and i waited patiently for the bus to let him off before lunch. there we were at the end of the driveway. from a distance we could see the big yellow blob approaching. i got the camera ready and we all took our positions. the bus came closer and closer, our anticipation of seeing our eldest boy descend the bus steps grew...closer, almost here and then whhooooossshhhhh - right on past! thats right, the bus didnt stop to let him off. all we saw of him was the blur of his little head behind the window. i put my hands up in the air and could have cried. dan wanted to chase the bus into the development it had turned into but i finally convinced him that the bus would not let a child off on some random corner with some lunatic that had chased it down flailing his arms. so we waited and waited and waited - for about another 45 minutes. thankfully the last stop was across and down the street so my mom walked over there to wait with the other family anxiously await om's return. when the bus finally went by again and stopped down the street my mom was able to tell the driver that the last little boy was supposed to have gotten off a long time ago. so the bus went to the end of the street and came back to deliver him. i felt bad for the bus driver...she seemed really nervous about passing his stop. i was just nervous that nathaniel would be scared but he seemed no worse for the wear and actually seemed to enjoy being the last one off. as it turned out, he was a late enrollment so he was not on the master bus list. no harm, no foul.

the hard thing is dealing with stephen. he goes out to the sidewalk with us twice or 3 times a day to wait for his brother and sister and it just kills him that he can't get on the bus! EVERY, and i mean, EVERY single time he has been out there he has said, me ride bus too? this is going to get really old. there are about 180 school days, times 3 buses - so that means i may have to hear this question 540 times this school year. i think stephen is also a little confused. he equally likes that he has the house to himself and yet misses nathaniel and davian. he frequently asks about them through the course of the day.

i can understands how he feels. so can davian and i suppose anyone who has ever had that conflicting feeling. i dont remember if i mentioned this in a previous post but a few days before we left brasil, davian said to me mom, i am really excited about going back to the states and seeing my grandparents but i am also really sad about leaving. how can i be happy and sad at the same time? oh davian. i tried to explain that that was a feeling she would feel almost her whole life. i told her that her dad and i and almost every other missionary feels the same way - like our hearts are trying to be in 2 places at the same time. when we are in brasil our hearts long for those we left in the states and when we are in the states our hearts long for brasil. it is a strange feeling but one that i think makes us more sympathetic.

and really this feeling turns my thoughts toward the Messiah's return. it reminds me that this world is not where we belong and how our hearts long for our heavenly home. one day our hearts will not be torn in 2 but will be wholly happy being right where they are - at home with our Lord