getting settled in again

so everyone needs to go through some adjustments when they travel cross-culturally and i, surprising, am no different. we left Brasil on Tuesday and have been trying to get use to being back in the States ever since.

everytime i have been back there is something else that seems to strike me. the first time i returned was when my smallest was 8 months. he was born in brasil so i brought him to the US so that our families could meet him. i remember being really surprised at how fat everyone was, how big the cups of coffee were and that our friends' kids had grown while i had been gone. i was so excited to hear and speak english that i just talked to everyone i possibly could - the little indian lady who worked at one of the food stands at the airport, the coffee stand guy, the lady cleaning the bathrooms, the cashier at the gas station....if you were standing still long enough for me to strike up a conversation i would soon know more about you than your neighbor.

the second time i came back was a year later and i was really taken aback by the feel of carpet on my feet and the fact that people have large lawns with grass and no walls around their properties. after being flicked off and honked at a few times in traffic i soon realized that my driving had dramatically changed. you see, in Brasil, if there is a space in front of you that you can squeeze into you go ahead and squeeze yourself in...in the US this is called "cutting someone off" - i began to remember that people dont like that. and if you follow too closely behind they dont like that either.

with this return there has not been as much initial culture shock but we have had to reprogram our minds a bit. for example: in Brasil you cant pump your own gas. the attendant comes over to the car and asks you how much you want and you just sit and relax as he fills the tank...sort of like the full service lane at the stations here but who can afford full service anymore? so when we pulled into the station on Wednesday my husband just sat there and waited for the attendant. we talked about how he should ask for a full tank and then after a few moments we just laughed as we realized that no one was coming to fill our tank. dan looked over at me with a smile on his face and said, "how do i put gas in the tank again?" after all, it had been well over 2 years since he had to do this himself!


my kids keep commenting on how EVERYONE speaks english and they are amazed that they can drink out of the tap without threats of dysentery. i actually videoed them in the cereal isle at Walmart as they tried to choose a box of cereal - it took like 10 minutes because they were so overwhelmed - and they could only see the first 3 shelves!

i, for one, feel like i am living in a hermetically sealed laboratory. we are in Alabama in July so it is hot and everyone has central air. at our house in Brasil the doors and windows are always open. it is almost always the same temperature inside and outside. there are breezes which flow through the house and all the noises of the outside mingle with what is happening in the house. but at my in laws house all the windows and doors stay closed and the blinds are mostly drawn to keep the hot sun out. well, the other day i started getting really unsettled and panicky. i started to wander around the house trying to figure out what it was that was bothering me. then it hit me - you have been totally cut off from natural sunlight, the breeze and any noises from the outside!!!! i ripped the blinds up and tucked the curtains back to expose myself to the sunlight....just then the bird clock in the kitchen chimed 9 am so i got to hear the mechanical chirping of the kingfisher which marks that hour. i guess that made me feel better.

i dont want to belittle the fact that we are glad to be back to see our family and friends but we do feel at home in Brasil and miss being there. we are trying to teach our children that there are good things about each country and to appreciate the things that are good about whichever place they happen to be in at the time.

i love going between cultures - it gives so many opportunities to laugh, be saddened, gain insight into my own culture and contemplate my own reactions to people and situations

stay tuned for more cross-cultural observations....like why you cant put your purse on the floor in a brasilian restuarant. :)

ps. this could have been a really funny post but i felt like such a loser because i only had one thing posted so i really pressured myself to write this even though i am tired and not thinking clearly....will try to do better next time...be a little wittier or something. probably something.